Eating Cake Alone

Life: I can have it all. But it will probably kill me.

To All those Mothers who keep offering me unsolicited advice:

It’s the suggestion here and there in the aisles of Target. The infamous “I have three kids, it gets easier”, “enjoy it, it goes fast” or whatever the unsolicited advice/comment du jour is. You see me, and I clearly need help. I need your seasoned mama wisdom. I’m wearing my vomit stained shirt on backwards, one kid is teetering behind me wearing one shoe (I’m not even sure if she’s mine), the other is precariously balanced on the shopping cart in a car seat with a look of concern in her little eyes. Is she drinking a Starbucks coffee?- Thank you. I get it now. You’re trying to tell me it will get better. I’ll shower alone again one day. I won’t have to fish my mothers pearl earring out of my kids nostril (MY MORNING LADIES). I will find my husband attractive again, and not a roommate that gets more sleep than me. And I will be able to drink two glasses of wine without praying for death the next day. Or start my day with random bouts of guilt from having my 3-year-old look at me thoughtfully as I pour myself a cup of coffee at 6 am and say, “Can you please feed me.” Like I was sleeping until noon on the sidewalk in front of the house, and just stumbled inside to get a snack and some meth. Really? REALLY? I get it now. And I find myself doing the same thing. Telling the mama with the 2 week old baby that is walking into walls, “Just wait until this..or that” with excitement. It’s the desire to share something that is so fleeting and unexplainable as being a mama. And by the time we think we’ve got it all figured out, the whirlwind is over. My pajamas will be indoor clothing again, and I’ll be offering advice and love to some mama at the store, who will roll her eyes at me and hate me for it.


Yes that’s a beer case. And no we didn’t drink it. The one in the middle is driving.




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Diana Veseth-Nelson

Damn, Girl. Get Your Shit Together.

Unsolicited advice for shit you didn't know you were doing wrong


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Eating Cake Alone

Life: I can have it all. But it will probably kill me.


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