Dear Perfect Parents on Your FaceBook Feed:
Thank you for reminding all the rest of us about how much more vigilant/cautious/perfect you are than the rest of us. As we toss our young children into alligator-infested waters, and leave them baking in car with their little faces squished up against the windows…we can always rely on you to chime in during times of great sadness, to remind us that everyone else is terrible, absentminded, selfish- and that you have just made glow-in the-dark homemade playdough- you Pinterest queen. Because all of us aren’t trying hard enough or loving hard enough…and you never feel mommy guilt, make mistakes, or go to bed crying wondering if you’re a good parent. May all of our children be gluten-free. In your name. Amen- Love, Shitty Mom.